Most women business owners I know do not need to work harder. In fact, quite the opposite.
Yet, many seem to think if they can just bill a few more hours a day, or spend a few more minutes with their kids, or squeeze in one more volunteer event, then maybe they’ll finally be good enough for that judge in their head.
But then they wonder…
- Why can’t I do it all and do it well?
- Why do I feel angry or sad or exhausted all the time?
- Why can’t I make more money or take my business to the next level?
- Why can’t I figure all this out?
- Why does everyone else seem to be doing this better than I am?
BEEN THERE, BEEN BURNED
Look, I get it. I’m a recovering perfectionist-workaholic whose favorite mantra was “if I want it done right, I guess I’ll just have to do it my damn self.” I once believed that if I just worked harder, I could get everything I ever wanted. And I wasn’t exactly wrong. My way did work for a while. It made me a little bit of money (a lot, some people would say), but it also made me feel burnt out and bitter. It simply wasn’t sustainable.
Worse, it made me hate people. I hated that they expected me to give my all, and even after I gave everything, to give more. Of course, the truth was, it never was about what “people” expected, it always was about the expectations I placed firmly on my own shoulders. I just really hated how I felt, both physically and mentally.
THERE’S ANOTHER WAY
Weighted down by my own choices, I could no longer arise to any joyful occasion. Ultimately, the blame-game had to stop. Fortunately, I learned to let go. It was not an easy journey—deciding to leave the comfort of my old patterns, embarking on a new, more mindful and challenging path, and taking extreme ownership of my own happiness.
I had to learn how to trust other people to help me (without holding them responsible for my healing, education, and growth). This included some amazing therapists, business coaches, and energetic healers.
I had to admit maybe I did not know as much as I thought I knew (Wha..?!).
I also had to reevaluate whether perfectionism was a worthy goal, to challenge my beliefs that hard work (as in “work yourself to death”) is a pre-requisite to wealth—it’s certainly not the path to health, either mental or physical—and to be willing to consider alternative answers to all my questions.
In fact, as it turned out, I needed a whole new set of questions.
YOU ARE THE IT
It’s been years, now, since I’ve been walking this path, and one thing I know for sure (as Oprah would say) is you are it. There’s only one you. Your business may come and go. Your children will grow up and leave home (if life follows its normal course). Spouses, lovers, friends, and family may leave. Money is energy; it ebbs and flows. But you are the “it.”
You live with you from the moment you are born until you die—some would say even before and after that but let’s just stick with what we know for sure: this life, this brain, this body, this mind, this mental health, this opportunity to create happiness and prosperity and abundance and joy, it’s yours now for the taking, so why not create a life that fills you with joy and purpose and passion, and a business that supports that life?
Or you can keep “working hard,” whipping yourself like a frothed racehorse until you collapse, always shy of some arbitrary finish line.
If you know deep in your heart there is a different way, and you are ready and willing to explore the possibilities, schedule a conversation with me now. I’d love to help you.
P.S. If you haven’t subscribed to The Solo to CEO Podcast, you are really missing out. You can do so now on iTunes, or you can listen to the latest episode here. It’s all about marketing and it’s fantastic.
P.P.S. Also, if it’s systems you crave, you’ll definitely want to listen to this free training I created for you on the six shifts you’ll need to make to create a million-dollar-or-more practice. Grab it now
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